Here are just a few of the excuses Connar has given for not going to sleep at night. Mind you, he pulls a few of these on a nightly basis, as if we've forgotten about them from the last 47 nights.
- Let's start with the one we get most often: "I need to poo poo." "No you don't, Connar. You just want to get out of bed." "No, I DO have to poo poo." So we lead him to the bathroom, and what happens? I know you're going to be shocked.... no poo poo.
- I went in to check on him when he was using the potty (see the last excuse for more specifics), and he was nowhere to be found. I looked around the corner and saw a long roll of toilet paper leading from the bathroom to our bedroom. He looked up with a smile as if to say Fancy meeting you here! and said, "I'm making toilet paper train tracks."
- He came out of his room scratching his head like a mad man and said, "My head itches. I need you to scratch my hair."
- He walked out of his bedroom with his hand elbow deep in the back of his underwear with a really uncomfortable look on his face. As he feverishly scratched his hiney, he said, "My butt itches. I need cream. I really need cream."
- "I need a drink. I'm so thirsty. I really need a drink, Momma. My mouth is dry. I DO need a drink."
- He called me from the other room. I stuck my head through the cracked door, in hopes that this was a quick excuse (Ha! I should know better.), just to be met with the words, "Come to my bed." When I got there he said, "Leave the door cracked." "It was already cracked, Connar." "Sure you leave the door cracked." He has been known to do this repeatedly a handful of times.
I love him to infinity and beyond, and we do get quite the kick out of many of the excuses he gives (Shhhhhh! Don't tell him!), but I have to say that I can't help but think of a hilarious book I bought Talton for Father's Day a couple years ago (What can I say....at the time we had a 19 month old and a 4 month old) that still rings true now that our boys are 3 1/2 and 2. It's called Go the F*#k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach.
If you've never read it AND you have a sense of humor, do yourself a favor and either find a copy to borrow or watch this You Tube video of an audio version.
I laughed so hard I literally cried when I finally got my hands on this book, because it absolutely rings so true. Side note: Imagine the phone call I had to make to Barnes & Noble to ask if they had the book in stock and then again later when I called to see if it was ready for me to pick up. "I'm sorry ma'am. What was the name of the book again?" Right. Like you forgot.
I even took it to work to show my friends who thought it was equally as funny; especially the moms who've been there before. This book would make a great gift for expectant parents too. If it wasn't packed away with all of our stuff in Houston, you can bet that I would be pulling it out tonight for a good laugh after putting Connar back in bed for the 11th time in 20 minutes. :)