Sunday, April 20, 2014

my funny monkey



I can't believe I haven't shared the funny things Connar says in nearly a year!  It's definitely time for an update from my funny monkey.  Enjoy!!  :)

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When asking to hold an egg for me, Connar said, “It’s okay, Mommy.  I won’t hatch the egg.”

When Talton asked Connar why he was patting his head, Connar said, “I don’t want to have crazy hair.  I want to have handsome hair.”

Connar: “A pointy tailed fly will bite.”
Talton: “Flies don’t have pointy tails. You mean a mosquito?”
Connar: “Uh huh,” while shaking his head yes.

“Mommy, what happened to my other boobie?”
Upon inspection, I realized he was confused as to why he could feel the nipple sticking out on one side of his chest and it was flat on the other side.

me: "Why is Parker crying?"
Connar: "He hit his head."
me: "On what?"
Connar: points to the bat in his hand
me: "Did you hit him with the bat?"
Connar: shakes his head yes
me: "Then he didn't hit his head...you hit his head."

C hurt the bottom of his foot on the door (don't ask how that's possible) and asked for an ice pack. I can do that....I brought him the Woody ice pack. "NOOO, Momma. I want Buzz." Okay, I can do that....I switched Woody out for Buzz. "It's not working, Momma. I need candy to make it better." Good try, kid. Good try.

Connar was being ugly to me so I looked over at our Elf on the Shelf, Dash, and said, "Dash, do you see how Connar is acting? Please be sure to tell Santa tonight."
Connar's reply???? "I quit Dash. I don't need him anymore." Ha! If only it worked like that, buddy. :)

I took Connar to the store with me, and every time I looked over he was messing with the mannequins.  "I just wanna shake their hand."  "I just wanna wook in the pants" (as he pulls the girl's pants away from her body and he stands on his tippy toes trying to peer in).  "She has boobies."

Connar: “What are you doing, Mommy?”
Me: “I’m grating chocolate for the baby shower.”
Connar: “Oh, but only Parker’s gonna take a bath, right?” (clearly b/c Parker is a “baby” and shower=bath)

Connar: (pointing to Best Buy as we drove by) “That’s not the toy store, right, Mommy?”
Me: “No, that’s the technology store.  They have computers, video games, phones, and TVs.”
Connar: “Ooooo!  I wuv video games.  I haven’t pwayed video games in years!”

As we were walking to our car in the parking lot after preschool, Connar was trying to wiggle free from holding my hand.
Me: “Why are you trying to let go of my hand?”
Connar: “Because I’m trying to wipe my booger on my shirt.”

"Da Worax (The Lorax) has a hiney.  He has a hiney to toot.  Right Mommy?"

C: "I'm hungry, Mommy."
me: "Go get another pig in a blanket off the counter."
C: "No, I'm hungry, not cold."

When we were eating lunch at a restaurant, C was watching Ben 10, a cartoon with aliens, and told me, "I want to be the alien with fire.." (and he basically yelled the following in excitement) "...WHO BURNS DOWN THIS RESTAURANT!!!!" Pretty sure that's something you shouldn't say in a crowded restaurant, kinda like you shouldn't yell "bomb" on an airplane. Geez Louise.

In the waiting room at P’s speech therapy:
“She talks like a man.”  He’s talking about the woman he’s knee to knee with while he turns to talk to me.

The man at McDonald’s told me, “Muchas gracias” when he gave me our food, and C said, “He just called you a monkey.”

As we were driving, C was looking out the window at the wildflowers and said, “I saw Indian Toothbrushes!” (translation: Indian Paintbrushes)

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I just don't know what I'm going to do when P starts saying funny things.  This stuff makes my day like nothing else can.  :)

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